bricks made of wall

a year ago, so last January i had like 13 posts damn.. what the fuck i was writing there all the time.. guess i had a period or something and wanted express myself from all the possible aspects.

actually that "period joke" i came up with yesterday and i thought it´s so funny that i have to remember it, because i was too lazy to write it down yesterday. and now it´s not that funny anymore after you read this add on. But, but as i told myself, and few other people that i want to be more honest, i had to tell this. Even though i lost 1% of my funnny-ness.

talking a bit more serious now.. what could be your ultimate challenge towards a strange human being (one you have never meet before in your entire boring life) ? like slapping ass, asking for his/hers mother/fathers number, ask to merry a person or you know random stuff.

and not that serious now.. what would you prefer: 1. To have to be a elephants ass scrubber for half a year in a small, smelly Indian circus, were they have probably stolen the elephant and you have to keep an eye on it as well from cops, and the only treat you get is to look at belly dancers changing there clothes. (if your a girl then no treat.. well if you enjoy girls bodies then it kind a counts) 2. Live on a rooftop of a ghetto for 6 months where there´s no danger and you get to see violent shoot-outs almost everyday (ooh yea), better then in any Sylvester Stallone´s movies, but you get to eat pigeons and apples only.


i´m not quite sure why i wrote these, so sense making, sophisticated, life´s point revealing questions, if no one but me, will be there to answer them.

ooh no, Mau you will answer them. there are for you :D

once upon a time not too long ago..

i was writing stuff, posts, wise thoughts of mine like every day or something.. like a girl writing a diary. and now i´ve cutted it down to a few posts a month oooooor i´m just lazy or i just don´t give a fuck about this blog.
Yes my true identity. a gangster.. i´m not giving a fuck about not giving a fuck :D

no but if we want to get serious for a second, then my flatmate did this "test" to me to understand what kind of personality i have and all that crap, (i usually don´t believe in this kind of a witchcraft )but one thing that gave me a second thought was that i have too many plans. for everything.. and that is a damn true. after i do what i´ve planned i will make a plan to plan the next plan. and that´s not so cool, cause besides the awesome planning not that much of those plans actually comes to realization.
that is sad.
that´s why i had a genius idea, to plan.. which Plans to cut off, and i did ;)
now only i need to buy mayonnaise and start doing shit.

as i really appreciate you all wasting time on reading this lines, i will honor you all by making myself a sandwich. Thank you.

what, what in the cup?

an awkward moment, when you open your blog, put your long, filthy fingers on keyboard and don´t know what to write.. usually you would keep this to yourself and try to forget your lack of moments creativity and write something another day.
have had, funny moments, have had drunk and high moments and a tiny drop of regrets, but all that´s behind my back, as the weekend is over and can start to think about some more important stuff, like finally getting curtains or watching all the family guy seasons or writing a letter and putting it in a bottle and throwing it in the sea so some random person (probably from Sweeden) can read my true, heartbreaking story about homosexual hamsters adventures in a pet store.

great. it was that difficult. few minutes and i have already told what´s on my heart, therefore making it easier to live, made a plan for a week + during it had fun with my left hand - this is amazing what i can do.
i hope you too. can do.. something amazing.


and after all it was easier than riding a bike with flat back tire, than write this. amazing my brain truly is.

piece.
(p.s. not peace)

salt

back in Denmark, but feels damn weird.. like i would like to change my sex, but actually i would not. like something weird. i´m kind a back in the Denmark, well my body is, my Latvian food is, but the feeling is like i haven´t been here at all before.
not that i missed home, but balkjdjgajdgmeaeioeagm- yes, this is how how feel now.

i guess mixture of hating the project i need to finish, having to work tomorrow, the good old smell of piss in the hallway and not really knowing what to do in my life has confused my super smart brain a bit, but i will get over it in this month definitely :)

and grandma gave me this huge piece of meat, but i have no idea how to make it eatable.. trying now, and will see if i´ll survive.
today saw the most fucked up thing. a transexual person, cutted off his/hers legs and lives a happy life, cause decided that pair of limbs that helps you to move around faster are no longer needed.. Damn. damn..

and i did not promised my self anything what i´ll do better/faster/stronger this year. will see if it´s gonna be any different. ooh, of course it fucking will be, but let´s see.

Laters

green

not a mile
not a money pile.
but a face with my sophisticated smile.

i undestand that after coming home from being abroad for a longer time i realised quite a lot of things i should do, change, skip and pay more attention to. Last Christmas i understood what i should study and i started a new hobby that lasted until this beautiful "winter" day.
this time my brains accomplished more difficult task in a sense of life and matter of honor.

damn, i afraid to know what am i going to "develop" next Christmas. That i actually like boys? ooh, fuck no :D that´s too far and deep to think for now anyway.

well i hope that i will be on step away from flying to Portland, USA or starting up my own business, cause i expect to achieve something quite high in my life and as the past year was like a time when i realised what the fuck should i do with my life then the following should include some of the milestones, to this great achievements. will see, will see, but i´m ready as hell, to crack the shit out of everything that´s gonna cross my way.

fuck

krapata

mess in everybody elses heads but not mine
a sense of awkward weakness going down my spine
this and that, going through my head
how did i got up from this comfy bed?

things, things, things to do and make them happen
be the one who guides, the leader, the pattern
my own life
to bring a brighter light
for those who miss it
have lost themselves in this rootless night



i just put my fingers on the keyboard and that´s i made this great poem, i have no fucking clue why though.

and today is the last time i´m gonna work this year. finally a deserved brake from, school, work, arabians, and everything else that has brought me to this fucked up feeling.

laters

forks and knives

pork and lies.
damn, that rhymed good with the title, huh?
i don´t have cookies anymore.

and now when i start to come back to a normal sense of understanding what´s going on, around and with me, it just scary to realise, that on my way home, i had the weirdest thing, like i couldn´t define my feelings, sad,worried,happy,stressed,busy,forward looking, out of space.. like a duck that after death has reborn in powerful lions body and now trying to understand what the fuck am i supposed to do now. swim, fly or try to walk with those clumsy feets or go hunt some meat for a meal and rule over everybody that´s against ur ideologies.
i think all of these thoughts and more, were in my head at the same time, and just didn´t knew what to do with them. damn, it was crazy :D

can´t find this key on my keyboard.