The worst is the best !

Hey, hey, hey you there.
As i have survived (ok almost everybody did. RIP sweedish dude who overdosed MDMA) the great Roskilde festival 2012 i would like to share some "tricks and tips" for such a big festival. (Looking through the eyes of an eastern europian)

#1 Even if you have enough money, you have to hitch-hike there alone, to show how crazy you are- therefore you will need to make this:

Required:
Marker (more colors - better)
A paper or cardboard if possible
And a bit of artistic skill.


#2 Then in one of the first days you have to get as disgusting as possible (wearing nearly all your best clothes on)

Required:
Alcohol (more than you can drink so you'll share it to everybody and then complain afterwards that you have shared but nobody else has)
Good clothes
Food (preferably something smelly, like milk or fish)
Spray color.


#3 When good amounts of alcohol has been consumed you will get horny and luckily stumble upon someone like this guy: (Sign says: Free rape )

Required:
Alcohol (already "down the drain")
A willy that IS working
Condoms or luck
Attend a public porno movie alone
Ability to keep you eyes wide open and willy ready to rumble.

#4 When some of the booze is out of the system you will start to have some mental hangover as well, so you will actually be nice enough to go to a shop and buy your own food instead of stealing it.

Required:
To be hungry
Money or something you can exchange the food with

#5 As the camera with you is damaged already it's completely fine to bring it around everywhere and then try to figure out where the fuck have you been doing and where.

Required:
A crappy camera
Ability to somehow press the button when you even can not hold a cigarette

#6 Yes, yes, as the music plays quite a big role, you should manage to see some great artists at some point as well. And definitely you should run as far and close to the stage as possible, AT SPECIALLY  if you do not know the artist that good or at all ( get nearly the same spot as the awesome fans that had been waiting in the qoue for more than 12 hours) listen to one song and then try to get out of the crowd for fucking 20 minutes. In this image you can see Islandic artist Bjørk. Popular, but really, really odd music.
Time when left the audience: 1,5 song.

Required:
Not a very big knowledge about the artist on the stage
A friend who´s stupid enough as you are



#7 Let someone draw a piglet on your hairy back:

Required:
Sunscreen
Sunny weather
A person with awesome pig drawing skills.


#8 Have a picture from a day after the festival, because it rocks to do that.

Required:
Camera
Bee in the festival a day after it's over

#9 Find a lot of random weird stuff that your not sure what it means, but definitely know that it is something cool.

Required:
A camera
A weird "what the fuck it happening there" background


Was awesome, was great. Hope to stop you if you will Knalde also next year.